Well, it’s a good thing this isn’t a food blog – otherwise you’d be starving by now.
Sorry about the lag in writing, I know you have all been eagerly anticipating a new post. Me too.
There has been a lot swirling around. Classes are wrapping up for the semester – in fact, it’s finals week. And where am I? Sitting in jury duty. That’s actually why I have time to write at the moment. I’m trying not to think about being late in administering my final exams to my classes this week because of being called to serve in my civic duty – or something like that.
So, that’s happening. Finals are this week and then I’m on Christmas Break. I mean, it’s not really a break, like a vacation or anything. It’s more like – life as usual minus the professoring for a few weeks. There’s still the mothering, wifing, cleaning, bill-paying and all around do everything-ing still to do.
It’s been a great season – the boys are doing really well, and I’m loving teaching. And, it’s also been a hard, heart-breaking season – Jereme’s lingering unemployment and me trying to figure out life without my best friend (who I lost to cancer in late August).
It seems, with us anyway, that our seasons always seem to blend.
It’s like the half and half frosty cone you get at Wendy’s. Half chocolate, half vanilla. You get a little of both – and the flavor of the two combined is choosing a daring adventure over just vanilla, or just chocolate.
Now, I know that comparing life to ice cream isn’t the deepest revelation ever – and at Wendy’s, you get to choose what flavors to enjoy.
With these things in our life right now – we haven’t chosen them, they’ve happened.
But the part about the flavor of both being different? I’m seeing that to be true in this season of life.
Do I want Jereme to be unemployed? Do I want to be grieving my best friend? Absolutely not in a million years. Ever. But, these things are still happening. Have happened.
So, what do I do with them? Do I try to lick the chocolate side of my ice cream cone and let the other side melt away? No, it doesn’t work like that. The whole thing falls apart (trust me, I’ve tried).
I understand that God has us in this season for a purpose, otherwise we wouldn’t be in it. And then, I try to keep trusting, leaning and praying.
This is not easy. At all. But, it’s given me perspective. It’s made me so thankful for my family and friends. It’s made me humble, grateful and realize how blessed I already am.
Eating the whole ice cream cone, with both vanilla and chocolate, is a rich experience.
Not materialistically rich, remember Jereme is still unemployed. But, it’s a deeper experience.
Notice I didn’t say it tastes better or that it’s more fun – and maybe I’m trying to overprove my ice cream metaphor – but in trying to draw things out:
By fully embracing both flavors, the good and the bad in this season of life, you come away with a deeper relationship with God, than if you just decided to embrace just the chocolate or just the vanilla.
See, if you just hone in on the vanilla – the good things – then you find yourself leaning on him less. Because you think you don’t really need it all. Things are going well on their own, so why invest?
And, if you dwell only on the chocolate – the bad things – then you swirl down into some dark, bitter, hopeless places that make God seem so out of reach. You feel He’s forgotten you, or he doesn’t care.
By realizing that there is both chocolate and vanilla on your cone, at the same time, you’re acknowledging contentedness and dependence.
Content in life – not always happy, mind you – but content.
Dependent in God to get you through the hard times and to still be there, growing you in maturity in the good times.
I don’t understand why Jereme has been unemployed for so long and I don’t understand why my best friend had to have cancer and pass away. I’ve thought about the “why’s” too long – my ice cream is melting.
Instead, now, I’m slowly digesting. And, I’m so filled with joy when I think of my amazing family, caring friends, our home and all of the other things God has blessed me with. Those joys help me when I taste the other side – when I feel the sadness and loneliness of my friend’s absence. When I start to be fearful of our financial future or worry when a job will appear. So, I turn my cone around – and before I’m aware of it – I find myself getting through it all.
So, that’s where I am right now. Sitting in jury duty, silently praying they won’t want a conservative, one-arm professor – and contemplating life according to the combo swirl frosty cone.
I guess this was a food post after all.